Dead Bread

I pulled out the bread machine yesterday after M suggested we have "make your own" pizza for dinner. I've only tried the recipe once, but it passed the toddler test, so why not try again? While E was asleep, I put the ingredients in and an hour and a half later, perfect dough! Yippee. E seems to like "cooking" with me, so she was all into it when I put the dough and toppings on the table for her. She shmeared the sauce around, then placed the cheese carefully over every inch of the pizza. I was a bit surprised because usually she makes "anchilla mountain" out of any given medium...sprinkles, glitter, whatever. I expected to see the leaning tower of mozzarella, but instead I saw a perfect little pizza!

Dinner was delish, and I figured that since I had the bread machine out, why not try another something? So I pulled out the book and picked one that had applesauce and oats. What's not to love? E helped me dump the ingredients in, and just before bedtime the house smelled fantastic! Imagine my surprise when I peeked into the machine and found a hard, misshapen blob! Where did my beautiful bread go? I mean, this bread is UGLY. Okay, save your judgement for the taste test, I thought. Um, still a problem...this bread tastes as bad as it looks. Dry, tasteless, hard...even butter and cinnamon don't help.

Stupid book! It's obviously not my fault. Except that I think it is my fault...I did a Google search this morning, and found that one thing that can go wrong is that you can kill the yeast. But I knew that! I'm always so careful to use just lukewarm water. Never, ever hot. Oh...my...flashback to the point in the recipe that called for honey. My honey was solidified and I just put it in the microwave for a quick second to soften it up. When I pulled it out, it was so hot, I could barely hold onto the bottle. So what did I do? Quick like a bunny I dumped it into the bread machine...poor little fungi. They never had a chance.

Ouch

Gotta love those calls..."No big deal, but E got a small bite on her hand today. We put ice on it, and she's fine." She was fine, just a tiny red mark on her knuckle. As far as I can tell, she wasn't really damaged by the experience...just a little confused. It was her friend N who bit her, and the teacher said it was "unprovoked." Hmmm...so it wasn't her fault? Good, because the last time she got bit it was because she was trying to steal the blankie off of a drowsy classmate. Yeah, she's lucky the kid just nipped her.

Provoked or not, I have to think that the parent of the biter is the one most traumatized. I mean, I get to be sympathetic, say "Awww, poor baby." The other Mommy has to sit at home and worry about the "unprovoked" attacker sitting the other room watching Blue's Clues. I know exactly how she feels, because I've been there. E never did bite her friends...thankfully her biting phase lasted only about a week and I was the only victim. But E did regularly hit, push, and generally instigate chaos in the toddler room at her last school. I would watch from the little window as she shouted in K's face every time she approached, and shoved her in the chest if K got in her personal space. E grew out of that, but at the time I was mortified. My little princess beautiful blonde girlie from heaven was acting like a little monster. It hurts a Mommy's heart.

Thank you, E, for leaving that behind. And to N's Mommy, don't worry. N is still your beautiful princess...she's just "tasting the world!"

Acorns of Knowledge

While surfing around my Unplugged friends sites, I came across a link to free printables for preschoolers. I found a counting activity with squirrels and acorns that I thought E would really like. I cut out three squirrels with numbers on their tails, and three matching acorns. There were actually fifteen squirrels, but I thought it would be good to start with something easy. It seemed like a "schoolish" activity and I wanted E to be successful. I'm afraid sometimes that I overwhelm her with information, and I don't want to scare her away.

I didn't tell her about the game, I just put it at her place at the table. When she found it she said, "Hey, Mommy! There's squirrels here! And acorns!" I asked her, "What's on the squirrels?" She said "Letters!" I told her that they were numbers, not letters, but I took her answer as a good sign. Until this point I had never even heard her talk about letters at all.

It took her all of thirty seconds to match up the squirrels with their respective acorns. I even tested her by trying to match up the number two squirrel with the number three acorn...yes, she corrected me. Before she went to bed, I promised her that there would be more squirrels in the morning. But what will I do when she matches all fifteen? I mean, even Doogie Howser didn't graduate from college until he was a teenager!

Unplugged - Soft

I guess this week's project is about as close to a failure as we've come while doing our Unplugged Projects. The theme was soft, and I immediately thought of the soft insect puppets I found at a Labor Day weekend garage sale up north. What a bonus...another unintentional "link-em" week, where I combine two themes in one (last week we did cylinder insects).

I've been intending to get E excited over her puppets...they're so much fun and just beg for "unplugged" time. So over the past few nights I've been writing my first puppet play, using a frog, a dragonfly, and a blue morpho butterfly. When E is a little older, I'll help her write a play too...I used to help my nieces and nephews write scripts and then video tape them acting them out. I am so proud of my play...it's cute, it's corny, it has props and involves throwing candy at the audience. This is the first time I've written actual lines instead of ad-libbing dialogue between E's many puppets. And tonight was to be the debut, until "the problem." While gathering the props and deciding on a venue (back of the couch, behind the kitchen table), I couldn't find the dang puppets. Further investigation revealed what I had feared...I left the puppets up North at the cottage. Oy.

I was ready to call it quits, but M was a trooper, and suggested that I substitute other animals, and go on with the show. Okay, well, the frog became a lion, the dragonfly became an elephant, and Seniorita Morpho became Seniorita Big Chicken. She was, after all, bigger than the elephant and lion combined.

My audience listened intently, M laughed at my corny jokes, and they appropriately surprised when I threw a Ziploc bag of M&M's at them during the pinata scene. After I was through, E said, "More puppet show, Mommy." I'll take that as a good sign. Apparently the plot made sense to her, Costa-Rican-beans-and-rice-eating chicken and all.

Me

I tend to think of myself as a nice person. Patient, understanding, and kind. But sometimes I'm none of those things. Sometimes I'm impatient, snotty, and obnoxious. Sometimes when I'm tired I just lose my composure completely and nothing but a good night sleep can get it back. Sometimes I'm downright mean.

I don't want to be that way. I want people to smile when I enter the room. I want to be a good friend, a good wife, and a good mommy. So I'm sorry, world. I'm working on it.

Him Likes Him's Milk

Oh, Baby m sure has a mind of his own...you know, we've been trying to get this kid to take a bottle since he was just a few weeks old. Well, he started day care (3 days a week) when I started back to work and he has been refusing to take ANY liquid from his kind and patient teachers. As a result, when I come to pick him up, the little dehydrated prune gives me an instant boo-boo lip and makes a beeline for my chest. Yesterday he had to plow his way through piles of toys, throwing them aside in a panic to reach me, his milky machine. In my desperation I told the room leader, "Tomorrow, why don't you try feeding him the formula with a spoon?" It was worth a try...after all, he has taken water from a spoon on a hot day, and he assumes baby bird position if he sees an eating utensil within ten feet.

So today they did it, they fed him his formula on a spoon...and wouldn't you know it, the stubborn little critter took it. I have a cupboard full of expensive b**b shaped bottles but no...he wants a 50 cent plastic spoon. Now that we've discovered a delivery method that works, I can feel a little better about leaving. At least I know that he won't have to muscle past the other children to "get his milk on" at the end of the day.

Rated G?

At the moment, I'm a little peeved at children's book writers. It started back when I was looking for books for E about the beach. There was a lovely looking book called, "I Saw the Sea and the Sea Saw Me." I was reading it to E that night, and all was going well until the main character got stung by a jellyfish. I turned the page and the character started shouting, "Stupid Sea! Stupid Sand! Stupid Shells! Stupid Jellyfish!" Before I knew it, I was yelling, "Stupid stupid stupid!" right in front of E. Come on, authors. You've got to know that the mommas and daddies reading your books are sleep deprived and unaware of the words coming out of their mouths. Don't blindside us with words that most parents try desperately to keep out of their children's ears.

Then the other night, another pretty book about clouds turned ugly. In the beginning, the author asks what clouds are...are they pillows? Are they ice cream cones? Are they made by a little cloud machine? Then, out of nowhere, Are they monsters that eat your kite? Excuse me? And the picture on that page is of a cloud overhead with big pointy teeth and dead kites hanging out of its mouth. Really, please. Have the decency to call this book "Attack of the Killer Monster Cloud" and give me the opportunity to leave it at the library.