Rated G?

At the moment, I'm a little peeved at children's book writers. It started back when I was looking for books for E about the beach. There was a lovely looking book called, "I Saw the Sea and the Sea Saw Me." I was reading it to E that night, and all was going well until the main character got stung by a jellyfish. I turned the page and the character started shouting, "Stupid Sea! Stupid Sand! Stupid Shells! Stupid Jellyfish!" Before I knew it, I was yelling, "Stupid stupid stupid!" right in front of E. Come on, authors. You've got to know that the mommas and daddies reading your books are sleep deprived and unaware of the words coming out of their mouths. Don't blindside us with words that most parents try desperately to keep out of their children's ears.

Then the other night, another pretty book about clouds turned ugly. In the beginning, the author asks what clouds are...are they pillows? Are they ice cream cones? Are they made by a little cloud machine? Then, out of nowhere, Are they monsters that eat your kite? Excuse me? And the picture on that page is of a cloud overhead with big pointy teeth and dead kites hanging out of its mouth. Really, please. Have the decency to call this book "Attack of the Killer Monster Cloud" and give me the opportunity to leave it at the library.