Baby Got Lip

Here are some snippets of life in the last few days:

E: I don't like dat corn lady.
Me: But I made her for you! (It's my first try at a corn husk doll, admittedly, not beautiful.)
E: But I don't like her.
Me: Why?
E: Because she's naughty, and chuchily, and orgily. (Wow. Harsh critic.)

E: Mommy, can you get me some milk?
Me: Honey, I'm trying to get dinner ready, and I don't have enough hands right now.
E: Daddy, do you have enough hands to get me some milk?

E: Mommy, when are we going to start our project?
Me: As soon as I'm ready.
E: But I'm ready.
Me: But I'm not ready.
E: But I'm ready.
Me: Honey, I'm not ready.
E: But I'm ready. (I believe we would still be going back and forth if I hadn't just decided to stop answering her.)

Me: E, you need to go brush your teeth.
E: Mommy, dat hurts my feelings.
Me: Well, you still need to brush your teeth.
E: You need to be nice to me. You should say you're sorry.
Me: But I'm not sorry.
E: Dat REALLY makes me sad.

I'm asking you, how do you argue with such a child? Most of the time, I leave the conversation quite sure that she has won and I have lost...and there's only one cure for that. "E, go to your room." At least then I can falsely believe that I have some power left.